In a recent post, Does Loneliness Make You Sick, I reviewed a study that came out linking physiological reasons why loneliness puts us at risk for getting sick. One of the readers aptly commented wanting more resources for loneliness, saying that now that we know that loneliness can have a negative effect on us physiologically, what can we do about it?
If you’ve been following my writings, you know I have an inclination toward mindfulness as a way of approaching our lives. So I’d be curious about whether loneliness is actually the culprit in making us sick or is it the way we relate to loneliness? Meaning loneliness is an uncomfortable feeling that makes us want to retreat from the world or perhaps avoid in other ways such as addictive behaviors such as drugs, alcohol, sex, or work.
In mindfulness, we speak about learning how to nonjudgmentally approach the actual feeling that’s there as a first step. This means putting on the hat of beginner’s mind and exploring the actual physical sensation that is associated with loneliness. As best you can, relate to the feeling with compassion, if this is difficult, imagine someone who you think of as a compassionate person, dead or alive, and consider how they might relate to this feeling.
Your mind may pop up with the thought, “that’s the most awful idea I’ve ever heard, I’m already so alone, you want me to spend more time alone with myself?” Remember, this is just a first step, what we’re wanting is to train the mind that it can actually be with what’s here and doesn’t have to be so reactive to hating oneself or turning to destructive behaviors.
Although many of us can feel alone even in a crowd, it’s still a good idea to try and come up with some ways to be around people.
Read more
If you’ve been following my writings, you know I have an inclination toward mindfulness as a way of approaching our lives. So I’d be curious about whether loneliness is actually the culprit in making us sick or is it the way we relate to loneliness? Meaning loneliness is an uncomfortable feeling that makes us want to retreat from the world or perhaps avoid in other ways such as addictive behaviors such as drugs, alcohol, sex, or work.
In mindfulness, we speak about learning how to nonjudgmentally approach the actual feeling that’s there as a first step. This means putting on the hat of beginner’s mind and exploring the actual physical sensation that is associated with loneliness. As best you can, relate to the feeling with compassion, if this is difficult, imagine someone who you think of as a compassionate person, dead or alive, and consider how they might relate to this feeling.
Your mind may pop up with the thought, “that’s the most awful idea I’ve ever heard, I’m already so alone, you want me to spend more time alone with myself?” Remember, this is just a first step, what we’re wanting is to train the mind that it can actually be with what’s here and doesn’t have to be so reactive to hating oneself or turning to destructive behaviors.
Although many of us can feel alone even in a crowd, it’s still a good idea to try and come up with some ways to be around people.
Read more
